Thursday, December 29, 2011

One year

Today's a very special day at Casa de Dear. Wait, special isn't the right word. It's significant and imbued with meaning for our family. It was on this day, one year ago, that we discovered our daughter Émilie had a brain tumour.

For the past week, Phil and I (and our extended family) have been nervously apprehending this day, this anniversary. Remembering the... bewilderment that we felt during that awful, awful time. The helplessness. The profound ache and grief that you feel, as a parent, when your child is afflicted with a serious disease. The rage you feel because damn it, it's unfair, and wrong, and just doesn't make sense at all and yet, there's absolutely nothing you can do about it.

Trust me when I say that it's very, very easy to get buried in sorrow when thinking about that day, December 29th, 2010.

Having said that, when I get past the pain and sorrow of that day and actually look at the present, at December 29th, 2011? The overwhelming feeling isn't one of sorrow, or pain, or fear. It's one of relief. Of gratitude.

Relief that she doesn't have a tumour anymore. Gratitude that she's thriving, and happy, and apparently able to move on from that horrible ordeal. Relief that those feelings of bewilderment, of helplessness, of grief, are (fingers crossed) behind us. Gratitude that our daughter is still with us.

I guess December 29th is a good day after all.

Happy Knitting, Everyone.

Friday, December 23, 2011


A couple of things have got me thinking that it must be getting mighty cold in the underworld this week, and I'm not talking about the snow that finally got here today*. Nope, I'm talking about strange, heretofore unheard of goings-on chez Dear that, had you asked me about them even a week ago, I would have scoffed at.

Thing the first? Well, brace yourselves but... I knit a toy.

I realize that might not seem like a big deal to most of you, but trust me when I say that anyone who knows me will be absolutely GOBSMACKED.

Long story short: I don't do toys. Garment knitter all the way, 100%. I've had discussions about knitted toys with people, and while I've occasionally conceded that there might MAYBE be a few toys out there that score fairly high on the cute-o-meter, I just... don't get them. To me knitting a toy would be like crocheting a cozy for my toilet paper dispenser. Um... no.

Enter DangerCrafts' Three Christmas Hooligan pattern. Pretty gosh darn adorable, wouldn't you say? Yup. Only I wasn't going to knit it, because, as I said, I don't do toys. Not me. No siree. Knit a toy? Surely you jest. Pshaw... Like, duh.

However, when Émilie told me that they were having a "bring a stuffie to school" day this week, that was all the excuse I needed I decided to put aside my aversion to knitting toys and made her one, because that's the kind of mature, wonderful mother I am.

But wait, that's not all. I said there were a couple of things...

Thing the second? I finally fixed and finished The Mittens. Yeah... I know.

Happy Knitting, Everyone!

* yeah, I know. I'm complaining about the lack of snow, even though I know perfectly well that I'll be having nightmares because of it in April. What can I say? I'm Canadian. My relationship with snow is complex.