Saturday, January 1, 2011

Émilie

There is no knitting in this post, nor will there be any knitting related content on this blog for quite some time. Knitting, yarn, the endless hours I spent obsessing about such and such a project... it all seems pretty fucking self-indulgent at this point.

Émilie's Mystery Health Issues aren't a mystery any more. She had an MRI on Wednesday, December 29th, and the results showed a large tumour growing in the posterior fossa region of her brain. It's compressing her facial and auditory nerves, which explains the facial paralysis and hearing loss on her right side. She's scheduled for neuro-surgery on Tuesday, January 4th, at 8 AM. If she doesn't have the surgery, the tumour will continue to grow until it compresses her brainstem, and she'll die. It's that simple.

Obviously, Phil and I (and all of our family and friends) are in complete shock. There's a profound sense of disbelief about the whole situation, and a hefty dose of fear as well. For my part, I'm overwhelmed with sadness. I'm heartbroken that my bright, beautiful, 6 year-old daughter has to go through something like this. I can barely breathe from the weight of my chagrin.

Many people have expressed their hesitation at wishing me a happy new year over the past few days. For some reason, they feel it's inappropriate, given everything our family is faced with, the challenges that lie ahead. But I couldn't disagree more. We're entering this new year in total darkness. What could be more appropriate, what could be more welcome, than good wishes of health, prosperity, and happiness for 2011? Don't hesitate: bring those good wishes on. We need all the positivity we can get.

Happy Knitting, everyone. May 2011 bring you all the blessings you seek.

22 comments:

chudoland said...

Dear friend, I wish health to your family and I pray for Emilie.

kate-the-enabler said...

2011? You may bring on the GOOD!
You know we are here for you in person, whatever you might need, and you are all constantly in our thoughts. Supporting for all we're worth over here in Enablerville.

Caroline said...

I've been thinking of you and Emilie so much these past few days and I will be sending her good thoughts all day on the 4th. My sister had a brain tumour (cancerous in her case) when she was 15 and it was a terrible period of my family's life. I can only imagine how scary it must be when it happens to your own child.

I wish you and your family a happy new year. May Emilie's surgery go well so she can be healthy again soon.

Rhonda said...

My Dear Tara, I am there with you, as a friend and a mother. You have my prayers for Emilie's fast recovery.
May 2011 make a quick turn around and become the best year yet.

~RaenWa~ said...

You & your family are in my thought. I will be sure to say a few words on the 4th when she has her surgery. I hope the surgery is a great success & Emilie is back to her happy self soon.

dawn said...

Happy New Year! My prayers are with you and your family! I cannot imagine the pain you are feeling right now, but my heart goes out to you.

Where the nodding violets grow said...

I wish you and your family health and happiness for 2011. I hope the operation goes well and that Emilie has a speedy recovery.

Alrischa said...

Not Cancer. It's already a good year. Radiotherapy on small brains is so sad.

Happy New Year, Tara! Starting off this way is a good sign of a year that's going to win the "Most Improved" award :D

Sinéad said...

Things can, and WILL, only get better. She's a fighter, she's strong and she's surrounded by love. I know you'll get through this, and you'll be all the stonger for it. Much love.

Wooly Knits n Bits said...

There are no words to console a parent of a sick child. I hope the surgery goes well and that Émilie is back to being a playful 6 year old very soon.

Knit and Purl Mama said...

Happy New Year Tara! I've also been thinking of you guys over the last few days. I want to wish you guys all the best as Emilie goes in for surgery and that she has a speedy recovery. If you need anything at all - please let me know. I am here for you if you need me. It's already a good sign that it's non-cancerous. My heart goes out to you guys, and my thoughts are with you.

Chantal Boucher said...

Sache que je prie pour Émilie, pour ta famille et pour les médecins qui la soigneront. "L'Éternel marchera lui-même devant toi, il sera lui-même avec toi, il ne te délaissera point, il ne t'abandonnera point; ne crains point, et ne t'effraie point." (Deutéronome 31:8)
Que 2011 puisse se passer dans la sérénité Tara. On pense très fort à toi.

knitspot anne said...

big waves of good vibes coming your way tara; i'll be keeping you in my thoughts through these next weeks, in the hope that everything will work out for the best

Maaike said...

I know we only met that one weekend at the workshop, but after hearing so many great things about you from other communal friends, I feel like I've known you longer. My thoughts are with you, I have no idea how you can cope through these hard times, but stay strong. Your family and Emilie need your strength now more than ever. As I read your post, I shed more than one tear just imagining how I would handle this if it were my 7 year old girl. I'm hoping above anything that she pulls through the surgery and you can all have a happy 2011 and many more happy years together.

Jennifer said...

Oh Tara- I hate that you're in this situation, but thank god Emilie has a mom as strong as you right now. Our thoughts and prayers are with you. Please let us know how she's doing, and if you want/need anything.

Maryse said...

Mes pensées vous accompagneront demain. Courage, il paraît qu'on a toujours la force pour passer au travers des épreuves que l'on rencontrent. Je vous souhaite que l'opération soit un grand succès ainsi que la convalescence. Une excellente année 2011 à vous tous!

g-girl said...

hi tara-you don't know me but we have robyn as a mutual friend. just wanted to send good thoughts and many prayers your way for you and your family.

Ali P said...

May this horrid situation pass and leave you all stronger for its having been. Today is possibly the hardest day of your life (January 4th) as Emilie faces her surgery. After this, what could possibly be difficult for you or her? You are now superwomen and I love you both. Speedy recovery, little supergirl!

Big Girl Feet said...

Sending Emilie many many good thoughts for a speedy recovery and much love, health and happiness to you all for the New Year- you deserve it!

Becky Holmes said...

Only the best wishes and hugs to you.

Laurie said...

Tara, I just saw this, and I am praying so hard that Emilie's surgery was a success and sending you and your family healing and comforting energy. I wish you and your family the greatest and best of everything life has to offer in 2011 and beyond and know that like many others, I'm only a keyboard away, but much closer in heart.

Erin said...

Tara- My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Keep knitting. It will keep you sane.I hope that things went well today. Sending hugs from the east coast, USA