Tuesday, August 4, 2009

This is why I don't design

I can't reveal too much about my latest FO. I really shouldn't even be mentioning it at all, except that the making of it was such an endeavour, such a journey of mind and spirit and such, that I really would be remiss if I didn't discuss it here with you.

So I had some yarn left over from the.... garment.... I knit for Little Miss Enabler. Not wanting any of the luscious Tanis to go to waste, I weighed my options and decided to knit up a quick hat to go with it. No pattern per se, I'd just whip something up using the same stitch pattern as the.... garment. Piece of cake, right? I mean, a hat is basically a tube that closes at one end, right? And this one was for a BABY. Walk in the park, perfect for car knitting.

The following entails a brief summary of this, my first "design".

Step 1: Look over Itty Bitty Hats and other "reference material" in order to approximate size of hat (same age group as the.... garment). Cross reference with stitch pattern and figure out stitch count. Congratulate self on using same stitch pattern as ... garment, thus eliminating the necessity of a gauge swatch. Mutter something to the effect that this will be "like taking candy from a baby".

Step 2: Upon further reflection, decide to investigate possibility of a picot cast on for hat, to up the cuteness factor. Investigate this technique, decide it'll be easy enough, and cast on. First attempt looks a little wonky, but hey, that's what the pattern SAID to do, right? Keep knitting.

Step 3: Cast on still looking funky, but keep knitting nonetheless. Get to beginning of pattern, and realize that stitch count is off. Debate whether to just make a stitch and keep knitting, but quickly become overwhelmed by guilt as this is a "gift knit" after all. Frog hat.

Step 4: Cast on picot edge again. Still looks funny, but at least now the stitch count is right. But oh look, it's curling a bit. Decide it's ugly, and frog. Stuff needles and yarn in knitting bag and knit on sock to soothe nerves.

Step 5: Cast on picot edge. Again. Begin cursing the sadistic bastard who ever invented this effing cast on method in the first place, and hope he's burning in Hell, right along with the moron who invented the cable cast-on, while you're at it. Enjoy a laugh at that one until the light comes on and figure out why the blasted picot edge is looking funny. Frog, but with confidence this time. NEXT TIME IT'LL BE PERFECT, you think. Hah!

Step 6: Cast on new picot edge. It looks great. This is IT, people. The edge looks fabulous, the pattern is great, and begin starting to think about the crown decreases when you realize that the stitches were twisted when you joined to knit in the round. Gasp is shock and utter incomprehension that it took you TWO HOURS OF KNITTING to realize you were making a mobius headband. Frog, but not as furiously as you'd like (because, you know, the stitches are twisted!!!). Curse self (and the Knitting Fates) profusely.

Step 7: Cast on fracking picot edge. Swear if you ever see a picot edge again, you're going to stab yourself repeatedly in the flabby underarm flesh with your Chibi. Ignore husband asking you if "you're sure everything's OK this time?". Knit through edging, stitch pattern and crown decreases. Decide on a last minute embellishment for the top of the hat (it's actually pretty cute) because you can always frog this bleeping hat again, right? Stifle mad cackling laughter that that particular thought has inspired. Weave in ends.

Step 8: Wonder if the hat is too big, or if you gave it enough length before beginning the crown decreases. Decide that, if push comes to shove.... you can always buy the kid a hat. :)

Happy Knitting Everyone!


Sereknitty said...

What we don't go through, for something handknit! Kudos for persevering!

Sinéad said...

Well, see, there's where I admire you. There's no way I would have frogged and cast on a half dozen times. That sucker would have ended up in the "never mention the knit" bin.
looking forward to seeing how it turns out!

birana said...

Im very late at comments, but yu had nice vacations.. yummi jams and now secret project.. busy busy!

Ali P said...

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I never woulda done that so many times. NEVER. You are so persistent/stubborn!! LOL Love it. Cannot wait to see the garment and said hat.
My first attempt at a baby garment for a certain Enabler hit the frog pile in a temper tantrum and a vow to never attempt said garment again.

Alrischa said...


Don't you just love the word frack? hehe.

Knit and Purl Mama said...

I love Picot edges. Sorry to hear you had such a hard time with it!

Can't wait to see this FO!

Anonymous said...

Too funny! Reminds me of my "why I don't post more" post. Such a shame you had to go through so much, but 'Lil Miss Enabler should feel really lucky to have friends like you!