Thursday, July 24, 2008

There and Back Again

A Knitter's Tale, by Dear Knits

Our story begins on an unusually dreary July morning. Having arrived a few minutes early at work that day, our heroine sat at her computer and perused the contents of her email account. In it she saw there was a preview for the Fall 2008 issue of Interweave Knits. Intrigued, she eagerly clicked the link and sat back as project after project unfurled before her.

Many projects got her attention (the Bacchus Socks, the ZigZag Beanie, the Braided Pullover). But, perhaps because of the weather, perhaps because of her yarn fast, perhaps solely due to its striking colour, the New Peat Coat struck her to the very core.

Dazed, she sat back and muttered "Dude... I have to make this".

She gave a cursory glance to the yarn requirements, and did a quick mental inventory of the stash. "Leaping Laceweight!, she cried. I don't have what it takes!".

Moving quickly now, she started to go over her list of online purveyors of yarny goodness. She quickly settled on Webs, and more particularly on some beautiful Debbie Bliss Cashmerino DK in a stunning, rich red. Before she could think "yarn fast", she had scooped up 10 balls and entered her credit card information.

She sat back, out of breath. The deed was done. She had not only fallen off the wagon, she had jumped off it headfirst and into an unending abyss of guilt.

Thanfully, the guilt was short-lived. Positive reinforcement from fellow knitters quickly had her feeling enthusiastic about her new project, if a bit perplexed as to how she was going to smuggle a big honkin' box of yarn into the house without her husband being any the wiser (all previous attempts of this nature had failed). Throughout the morning she went back to the preview pictures and dreamed. "My precioussssssssssss", she'd whisper.

Then something happened. For some unknown reason (perhaps prompted by a gentle nudging from the Knitting Goddess?), she re-read the yarn requirements.

: Loop-d-Loop by Teva Durham River (90% cotton, 10% cashmere; 103 yd [94 m]/50 g): #8 poppy (red), 9 (10, 11, 13, 14) balls.Loop-d-Loop by Teva Durham Moss (85% merino, 15% nylon; 163 yd [149 m]/50 g): #10 crimson, 6 (7, 7, 8, 9) balls. Yarns distributed by Tahki Stacy Charles.

"Huh, she mused. Two yarns. Must be knitter's choice." Appeased, she went back to her blog reading, I mean work. This explanation didn't satisfy her for long, however. She went back and read the information again.

Gauge 14 sts and 13 rows = 4" in woven st with one strand of each yarn held tog

One strand of each held together. There was no denying it. It wasn't knitters' choice. With a sense of dread, our heroine realized that to knit this project, she'd need to purchase an additional 1200 yards of an Aran weight Cotton/Silk blend.

How can I convey to you the sadness felt by our heroine at that moment? Frantic, she went through her Ravelry queue, searching for some project, any project, that she could make with that morning's yarn purchases.

But the magic, dear reader, the fire just wasn't there anymore. After searching a few minutes longer, she made the call and waited. When the message finally came through, she read Michael's words with regret: "Thank you for Writing! I have cancelled your order from our system as per your request".

And that is how our tale ends. Let it be a lesson to you all, lest you experience such bitter disappointment as our heroine. Before buying the yarn, ALWAYS READ THE PATTERN.


Anonymous said...

Just ouch. Ouch ouch ouch.
Good tale though. Excellent moral.
(but the colour would have been smashing on you...)
maybe if you knit a round or two on those really purty socks (which, if Philippe doesn't fall head over heels for, we could knit again in a smaller size for me....har har) maybe it'd take the edge off the pain.
I bet your boss would completely understand. :)

Jennifer Lori said...

Well, since your order was cancelled and will not be arriving at your house and being charged on your credit card, you technically never broke your yarn diet. It's the same as someone who should'nt be shopping, but goes out, tries stuff on and even has something put aside...but never goes back to buy it.

p.s. Have big boxes of yarny goodness shipped to KTE's house!

Mrhide said...

tricksy hobbitses !!

Sam said...

That's really funny - I went to see the pictures and when I read ten - in my head only ten of a DK when this looked doubled ?&?&?& - i continued reading - ah! ha! Il me semblait donc !!! Thank God, the knitting fairy was in a good mood today.

Amelah said...

Eesh atleast you were able to fix it!

One thing i figured out, with sneaking things into the house, bring it 1 by one slowly and leave the rest in your trunk :) thats why god invented trunks lol

Sereknitty said...

Oh bummer! Big, fat :D******!

On the positive side, your pinwheel is looking very fabulous! I swear the edging almost took me longer to knit than the rest of the blanket. But, it's worth it ... really finishes it off nicely. I used one from a baby shawl pattern in DB Special Knits book. You knit it and sew it on as you go. Loved it.

Knit and Purl Mama said...

You are too funny. I'm sure that if you had your order actually go through, that you could tell Phil he could get another pinball machine or something so your yarn can enter the house. LOL.

I'll learn a lesson through you and ALWAYS READ THE PATTERN! Twice.